After taking Annie for a quick amble around the motel grounds (where we spotted both the VIP smoking lounge, and the setup for perhaps the world’s saddest parking lot party) we were back in Pearl and headed northward.

Where we were confronted with traffic, traffic, and yet more traffic. I had really thought once we got out of the DC-NY corridor we would be free of such gridlock, but such was not to be the case.

We stopped briefly in Massachusetts, where I grabbed a smoothie at Panera and Annie foraged for a snack behind the pizza shop.

New Hampshire was weirdly obsessed with making sure we all knew how to access booze and gambling, even on the Lord’s Day.

And then, at long last, we were in Maine. And it gets real deserted real quick in Maine. And here’s where things get awkward. You see, I’ve always prided myself in not holding back on this blog, fully sharing all my personal quirks and embarrassments for the edification of you, the reader. But I’ve got some new readers these days-specifically my boss and some of my professional colleagues (shout out to Jon Yankee and the FJY Financial team!), and so I REALLY struggled with whether or not I should share this next bit. But it’s in the blogger’s oath that the reader’s entertainment and enlightenment must always come first, so push forward I must, no matter the cost to my dignity.

The long hours of driving had grown a bit tedious, and i thought it might be advisable to pull over for a rest and a stretch. I found what appeared to be a fairly deserted day parking lot for whatever passes for a train in Maine (moose drawn wagon?), and after a quick catnap I took Annie for a walk to empty her bladder. It quickly became apparent that I needed to do the same, and as I grumbled inwardly about having to drive around some more to find a bathoom, a light bulb went off! That’s what I have my SheWee for! For those new to the blog, this is a SheWee…

I… errr.. positioned the device, but perhaps it had been too long, or I was distracted, because apparently I did it wrong, because the next thing I knew HALF THE PEE WAS RUNNING DOWN MY LEG! #SheWeeFail

So now I’m in some random parking lot in Maine with pee all down my leg and soaking my jeans. Awesome. (Luckily it’s a pretty deserted parking lot). So I do a quick rummage through my suitcase and find some shorts to change in to, and decide that this debacle calls for a Diet Coke to soothe my nerves. Now normally I would head for a McDonald’s in this situation, but all I can find is a Burger King, where I find . . .

What the Actual F**ck is this now??

America, we have sunk as low as we possibly can. Naturally I bought some. And now I’m sitting in a Burger King parking lot with pee on my leg and eating Mac and Cheetos. How have I sunk so low?

To me, they were vile and chemical tasting, but Annie nearly bit my thumb off trying to grab hers.

Yadda yadda yadda, driving, driving, driving, FINALLY we arrive and it is GORGEOUS here!

This is the view from our cabin:

Which overlooks this little beach I could walk down to…

And then it’s only a ten minute walk to an even better beach where Annie and I went to watch the sunset over Frenchman’s Bay. And as we sat on my Jake:Half Man/Half Alligator beach mat on the rocky shore, I flashed back to sitting on that same beach mat on a very similar rocky beach watching a sunset just over a year ago. That was on Orcas Island off the coast of Washington state, a country and a life change ago, but it felt just the same.